![]() ![]() ![]() I've chosen suicide with a clarity I've never possessed before, with a rational resolve and sense of calm, in order to pursue the ultimate meaning of my life, act on my belief about the beauty between two people. Not to punish anyone or to protest a wrong. The endpoint of this process of "Forgiveness". I love life passionately, and my wish to die is a wish to live. ![]() Yes, this time I've decided to kill myself not because I can't live with suffering and not because I don't enjoy being alive. It's as if I've instantly found the secret of "Suffering", how to bear it and how to endure it. ![]() Now I don't feel the acute pain I felt before I feel enlightened, at peace. It's as if I can see my life right in front of my eyes, and all I have to do is reach out and draw it in. I understand the cause and effect of the last year. Certain pathways I failed to open in the past have now opened. I know now why I couldn't change certain characteristics and certain things about myself, but it's not a problem anymore. This is the exact opposite of last time, for this time I'm experiencing a kind of pleasure in life, in being alive, a pleasure in living that I've never experienced before, and I'm hopeful and confident that I can become someone with dignity. ![]()
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